I'm with ILiftRocks, bro. People don't change. And after
two decades, you really can't expect her to change. If she wasn't into that kinky stuff within a few years of being married, she's definitely not going to do it now. You're wasting your time and damaging your relationship with her by constantly pressuring her to do things she doesn't want to do. You're also cheating yourself. If freaky sex is such a priority that you feel unfulfilled in your relationship (my soul is empty because my prostate goes untouched!), you need to see if she'll let you do your thing outside your marriage or d-bomb.
I think a lot of younger married guys are in the same boat with their partners. Hell, you could say that I'm there. I'm with a Good Woman because so much of what is important in life (and relationships) is non-sexual. Sense of humor, education, hobbies, paychecks, physical fitness, daily living habits, goals for the future, etc. But she's not the best sex partner I've had by a long shot and I have come to terms with that. She's just not the kinda girl that wants a pommeling in the alternate love canal as candle wax is dripped on her tits. I won't be participating in a threesome with this girl. I accept that.
When I return to Earth next year and take a look at my life again, I'm sure I'll be a little irked that yet another year has gone by where I haven't motorboated two sets of breasts within 5 seconds... but I'll have a decent partner that takes care of the house while I'm away and loves me for who I am. Maybe there is a girl out there that'll be super kinky as well as loyal to the relationship. Do I want to waste more years looking for her? Not yet.
Turns out life is like that... you pick a priority and roll with it. Sometimes priorities change. If you really do love her and things are good everywhere else in life, you're going to have to make a sexual sacrifice. If you can't settle for a life like that, you gotta take your raging hard-on down the road elsewhere.
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You can't always get what you want, but if you try, sometimes you'll find, you get what you need.
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