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Walt's story is good, but it's also not the complete gun show picture. Allow me to illustrate for those of you who haven't had the experience:
Lemme first state the obvious: Guns shows aren't about guns. No, guns are only the foundation of gun shows, and like on a house, the foundation is hardly worth talking about it as long as it's there. And I don't know how many people are actually aware of it, but gun shows are actually a social sciences experiment run by a super secret sect of the federal government that is also responsible for OzFest and the infamous Robot Chicken. This program's primary purpose is to seek out every single negative racial and cultural stereotype and put them all together in the same gutted warehouse and/or dilapidated ballroom in order to monitor their interactions and watch them consume 181 different flavors of beef jerky and those $9 hot dogs that smell like farts and taste like sawdust. They also use it to monitor who is purchasing cannon fuse and tattered photocopies of The A______ Cookbook. I can't confirm it but it is suspected that they also engage in datamining and sell their collated results to firearms manufacturers such as Taurus and Springfield Armory so they can continue to produce cutting edge products like The Judge in calibers that are best suited for a fifteen pound Mauser-action safari rifle and M1A SOCOM with enough rail space to attach every Surefire and Magpul product ever made... at the same time.
Some of the personalities you may run into include:
- Fatass old white guys with Harley shirts and stretch-waist jeans engaged in open carry (zip tie through the action)? Check.
- Skinny young black guys in baggy FUBU clothes and a big chain necklace checking out chromed Desert Eagles? Check.
- Ugly, pale, maybe-pregnant trailer trash girls in halter tops and short-shorts wandering aimlessly? Check.
- Asian tourist (sans camera) looking at the amazing array of tools of barbarity used in America? Check.
- Guys of all ages and races dressed as cowboys and looking at SASS (Single Action Shooting Society) cowboy guns? Check.
- Super rich fat bald guy in khaki shorts and polo (drives H2) that makes it clear to everybody he owns REAL MACHINE GUNS? Check.
- Militant lesbian couple with matching neck tattoos and 400 ear piercings picking out Glock 26s? Check.
- Scrawny white kid with goatee wearing "tactical clothes" and cheap nylon drop leg holster for no legitimate reason? Check.
- Nerdy middle-aged, middle-class white guy looking for a Mossberg 500 for home defense? Check.
- Goth kid sitting in the corner, staring at the floor? He doesn't even really like guns but he's here because his brother is. Check.
- Guys from the nearest military base browsing up and down the aisles laughing at the gimmicky hardware? Check.
- Obese guys that used to be in the military sporting jackets with 500 patches and talking about all the tactical action they saw in the '80s? Check.
- Ancient white guy (must be 70+) wandering the aisles with a muzzle-up'd beater rifle from the 1920s, FOR SALE sign on the barrel? Check.
Oh, and there are many, many more.
And keep in mind that those personalities are just the customers. We haven't even touched on the purveyors of goods yet.
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Shit, this requires its own thread. I'm going to need some time.
Last edited by Plan9; 10-09-2010 at 01:59 AM..
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