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You're caught in a vicious circle, dude. The problem is that you seem to be a very passive person whereas she's a very aggressive person. Seems to me, the only way to fix this relationship is for you to stand up to her and tell her what needs to change and why. You clearly lack the self-esteem and confidence to do so, though. With her constantly berating you and making you feel inferior (not to mention the fact she won't sleep with you, which brings on a whole 'nother truckload of insecurities), these self-esteem/trust issues you have aren't going to get any better.
I'd say try to find a way to build your self-esteem (such as the therapy route mentioned eIarlier) so that you can find the confidence to stand up to her, but, based on my, admittedly, limited view of this situation, I'd wager that, if you did take a more assertive role in the relationship, she'd lose interest anyway. Kind of seems that she wants all the control in the relationship and wouldn't be willing to compromise that.
So, my honest advice is to cut your losses, take some time to yourself, figure out what you really want, and learn how to assertively pursue what you do want. Once you feel you have the confidence to ensure your own happiness and the happiness of another, go find yourself a girl that has what you want and is willing to share it with you without breaking you down as a person.
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Advice aside, I would like to also give you a direct response to your post...
I don't think any relationship should involve constant nagging, berating, or lack of respect for one another. Furthermore, I would never pursue a relationship with a woman who made me ask for permission to go live my life.
The reason I get involved in relationships is because I enjoy that persons company and would like to share my life with them. Share's really the key word there. I don't want anybody to take control of my life.
Relationships require compromise to work, and if one person is taking more than they're giving, things become very one-sided. The only reasons a person who ends up on the wrong side of that relationship stays, is because of fear or content. Neither of these are good reasons to pursue a relationship...
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"The fact is that censorship always defeats its own purpose, for it creates, in the end, the kind of society that is incapable of exercising real discretion..." - Henry Steel Commager
"Punk rock music is great music played by really bad, drunk musicians." -Fat Mike
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