Originally Posted by Anonymous Member

I'd like to kindly request that the responses here remain limited to men, in lieu of an actual "Men's Lounge." There is no way for me to enforce this, but it is an issue I'd like to see responded to in a pro-male way without bashing women, but also without female 'response' to a question they really can't understand (ala male comments on PMS).

Likewise, as it's a somewhat personal issue I'm opting to post this anonymously.

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So, men - where do you draw the line between simple "she's in a bad mood" or even "she's just bossy" from your significant other? I'm to the point where I'm honestly considering whether my girlfriend will ever treat me respectfully on a long-term basis.

I'm talking about dirty looks at my mere existence, the 'impatient' look if I happen to interrupt her shows with a story or a question, the ever-present "YOU ALWAYS X" where X is something I've just done, and she believes I always do (like not throwing away a food wrapper). She doesn't like me going out without her, but doesn't ever explicitly state her feelings. I feel like she manipulates me with passive aggressive sadness and anger, and I always fall for it.

I haven't had many partners and I've not been married, so I wonder how many of you consider this just part of being with someone for a long time, the very reason for the "nagging woman" stereotype and associated jokes about men who are "whipped" or have to ask their "Boss" permission. We've been dating more than 4 years. After I've brought it up before she's done well in being kind and letting me do things without her 'permission' and not being rude to me at bedtime or other times but she invariably returns to habits I think she learned from her mother (who divorced after pushing her father down the stairs, multiple times).

Is this something you eventually see in women, or is it really possible to be married to someone for 5, 10, 20 years without having a nagging presence?

I really don't know where to draw the line between acceptable behavior and emotional or verbal abuse. I don't have a good history with it, and with an ex-alcoholic father, I was always the repairer. I pretended not to notice the bad behavior and jumped on it whenever he was in a good mood again. I feel like that with my girlfriend. I could call her on her upsetting rudeness but it'd just devolve into another argument and I don't want to waste the time on it. So I just apologize or let her cool off and then I pretend it didn't happen when she's nice again.