plainjane2010

I am 40 years old, and I was diagnozed with Late Onset Schizophrenia at the age of 37.

For me, the voices are like eavesdropping on a conversation, but the entire conversation is centered around me and what I'm doing at the time. It's as if they are actually in the room with me. They make commentaries on things only people around me could know, etc. Most of it is negative, but occasionally, they suprise me with something positive.

When I first heard the voices, most of it was my own thoughts being narrated. I am an avid reader, so needless to say, it was quite maddening (pun intended). I must have attempted to read the 1st page of the book I had started at the time over 100 times. I was SO determined to get past the voice and enjoy the story.

When the voices first began carrying on an actual conversation with me, I thought I was a victim of telepathic harassment. The voices sound like actual people separate from myself, so I suppose that was a way for me to deal with them. I've since come to my senses (so to speak), when I realized I was unable to read thoughts of actual people around me, no matter how much I concentrated. There was no way I could be telepathic.

I've actually learned to manipulate the voices into saying funny things. Initially, it took a lot of concentration to do, but now I would consider myself a pro at it. They become particularly upset with me when I make them say goofy or over-the-top nice things. My favorite thing to do is get them to sing a song -- in harmony (that took a while to learn). It ticks them off, but it does tend to put me in a good mood for the day.

Oddly enough, I really don't have any major symptoms otherwise... I just hear voices for no reasonable explanation (that I've found anyway). The early months of the introduction phase were horrendous (perhaps another story for another time), but over the past few years, I've learned to deal with them (without medication, I might add). It's like I'm me... but I hear voices. Perhaps I've adjusted so well because mine occured late in life?? I honestly have no idea.

Due to the stigma involved, I do not react to the voices "externally", even when I'm making them sing in harmony. The activity occurs "all in my head". Only a few family members and a few doctors know of my condition. I'm very independent -- I live on my own, and I'm successful at my full-time job. I even received the yearly award for "Going Above and Beyond" from my employer.

Your post jumped out at me, when I was searching for something in Google, and I felt compelled to answer your question. I hope it helps you get the right perspective.

---------- Post added at 01:27 AM ---------- Previous post was at 12:49 AM ----------

"The concept of “coping” is central to H.V.N., based on its belief that people feel better not when their voices are extinguished but when the person hearing voices learns to listen to his hallucinations without anguish."

Makes sense to me.