Quote:
Originally Posted by PonyPotato
Why does everyone seem to think that "consent for each act" means asking for sex verbally every time? For me, it means that my SO has a green light for all action (except this situation, which is usually discussed beforehand), all the time, unless told otherwise at that specific time OR because of a medical issue that has been discussed beforehand.
I've gotten more "honey, I'm not in the mood/too tired/too sore/etc." from one guy I dated than he EVER got from me.
Having confirmation that everything is a-ok in the consent area does not require a permission slip when you're in a relationship. However, disregarding a "please, not right now" or other boundaries that were previously defined would just not be cool.
Edit: I'll put it this way: guys, would you be okay with your SO jamming her finger or a dildo** up your ass anytime, all the time, even if it's lubed up? My guess is that for most of you, the answer is "no," and so you might understand the conditionality of certain acts a bit better when you see them in those terms.
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I don't really know how to describe this, but for better or worse, stuff like this makes up your sexual personality. It is a spectrum, and everyone falls someplace on it.
At one end, you have the nymphos (in both genders) who will sleep with anybody at any time. And at the other, you have the people who have sex only to have a baby (actually nuns and priests would be the end now that I think about it). I take a Kinsley approach to it all, and say whatever you are happy with is fine by me. But, you have to be happy. And like I said at the beginning, I don't know how the general population feels about this*, you could be very typical.
In my case, even if you told me that this wasn't cool (and I would respect any girl who told me that and wouldn't try it), but in the back of my mind, I would wonder what else can't I do. What else can't I say. And a girl's reaction to doing something wrong also factors into this. Would you get up and start screaming and call the cops, or would you politely tell him that you don't like that, or maybe he thinks you would like it.
*And feel free to blame porn for this. I don't believe porn has influenced me very much, but this would be one area where it has. I have no idea what a typical long-term sexual relationship is like.
**Does it vibrate? I've heard good things about prostate massage, but haven't tried it.
After re-reading my 3rd post, I think I was trying to talk about a different type of sexually conservative girl. But, I could see how that could be mistaken as meaning that this one thing would put you in the 'sex once a month with the lights off' conservative group, and that isn't what I was trying to imply.
---------- Post added at 07:18 PM ---------- Previous post was at 07:14 PM ----------
Quote:
Originally Posted by Redlemon
A what? I can't find a definition for that acronym.
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bare-back-blow-job/with swallowing
(I had to look it up too, too bad sex ed didn't cover the real info that I wanted.)