08-31-2010, 07:12 AM
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#59 (permalink)
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I Confess a Shiver
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I've posted this elsewhere on TFP, but it definitely fits here:
Quote:
It's nice, nay, it's awesome. I finally feel like it's over. That we are now friends. Not simply pretend friends. I am no longer hanging by my fingernails thinking about what could have been and what could still be. I can let go and realize a ledge on my toes. I can now move forward without the mopey anguish.
I've realized, or begun to, at least, that what I miss about her and our relationship was simply our past. It's the nostalgia. I miss the good times when it was rolling. I miss the sex, the affection, the days gone by that can never be retrieved again. I miss missing her. I miss the way we were. What I was chasing was that first hit, as they say, because all shit afterward were never as pleasant as that first true jab and in my mind I was imagining it as it once was.
Those days are long gone. We are not emotional Deloreans, equipped to time travel back into the past to relive a life once lived. To do so would be to face the peril of being stranded in the Wild West or at the very least force an inching crawl toward whatever happy future we may have in our own individual Hill Valley. If at this point, it turns out that she was my only love and that I was now to spend the rest of my life as an isolated loveless bastard, I am ecstatic that at least I had that experience. That I had her. That we had something true.
Nothing lasts forever. But the moments that we had will always exist in the time that we had them. They can never be destroyed. They will always be there, whether we choose to remember them or not. And I am so very happy for it. For us. For me.
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Aaah, that's the stuff.
Last edited by Plan9; 08-31-2010 at 07:15 AM..
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