Willravel

After a few years of cooking, learning new things, experimenting, and tweaking, one starts to develop specialties, dishes that are especially good, especially unique, and that bring everyone to the house. Maybe it's that perfect pan-fried, crispy salmon with red potatoes. Maybe it's that chocolate and raspberry soufflé that took you 117 tries to get right. Maybe it's even a ravioli with a filling no one in history thought of before you put your creative culinary mind to it: roasted peanut and escarole.

That's what this thread is for. What's your delicious, interesting, or unique culinary swan song? What's that one dish that you are the best at?

I'll get the ball rolling. I used to think my best dish was my authentic, San Francisco cioppino, but recently someone mentioned that there was one dish that I've been working on for DECADES (yep, 20 years despite the fact I'm only 27) that is apparently my best.

I want you to find a nice, big dish, the kind of dish that they used to wash babies in during the Great Depression. Call 15-20 of your closest friends, and let them know something amazing will be happening at your house in a few days. It's time for Willravel's infamous 14 layer "The Itis" dip.

Yes, 14.

Layers 1 and 8: Homemade Refried Beans
4 cups dried pinto beans, soaked overnight in whatever can hold them plus enough water to cover them by a good 2 inches
2 bay leaves
1.5 cups bacon drippings, preferably from a high quality bacon
4 cups chopped Spanish onions
3 Tbs. minced garlic
3-4 Tbs. minced, seeded jalapeño, depending on the level of heat you like (I use 4)
3 Tbs. your favorite chili powder, just just the cheap stuff from Safeway
1 Tbs. + 1 tsp (or 4 tsp) ground cumin
2 tsp kosher salt
1/2 tsp cayenne pepper
2 tsp fresh, chopped oregano
2 cups grated queso blanco, the best queso blanco available withing a few hundred miles of your home

In a sizable pot, combine the beans, bay leaves, and enough (filtered) water to cover the beans by about 1-2 inches. Don't worry, this will be cooking for quite some time so the exact amount of water isn't too important. Bring to a boil, and simmer, uncovered and stirring occasionally until the beans have become tender. This generally takes me about an hour and 20 minutes, but this could by anywhere from maybe an hour and 15 minutes to 2 hours. If it's on for quite a while, add more water to keep the beans covered. When the beans are soft, remove them from the heat and get out any bottle up frustrations by mashing them with a potato masher or the cat or whatever you have handy.

I have a gigantic skillet, but if you don't have a massive skillet you may need to do the next part in a pot. Heat the bacon fat over medium-high heat until it liquefies. Add the chopped onions and pan-fry until they're soft and partially translucent, about 5 minutes. Try not to pass out from the heavenly fumes. Add the garlic, jalapeño, chili powder, cumin, salt, and cayenne, and cook until so fragrant the neighbors who normally avoid eye contact are trying to break down your door like a George Romero zombie movie, or about a minute or so. Add the beans and the water from the (other) pot along with the oregano and stir for however long it takes to turn from stew into that wonderful paste we call refried beans. If the beans are getting too dry before maybe the 15 minute mark, feel free to add more water, but after that they should be done. Sprinkle the top with the cheese and carefully mix in. Add a bit of salt and pepper to taste if absolutely necessary, but that could be a sign of sub-par bacon drippings.

Layers 2 and 9: Guacamole
7 Haas avocados, halves, seeded and peeled
2 limes, juiced
1 teaspoon kosher salt
1 teaspoon ground cumin
1 teaspoon cayenne pepper
1 medium yellow onion, diced
4 Roma tomatoes, seeded and diced
2 tablespoons chopped cilantro
3 cloves garlic, minced

Put the avocados in a large bowl and toss in the lime juice. When they're adequately coated, drain and save the lime juice. Using the potato masher from the refried beans (dude, seriously, wash it first), decimate the avocados while adding the salt, cumin and cayenne. When the mash is properly mashed, fold in the onions, tomatoes, cilantro, and garlic until the stuff is guacamole. Add back in 1 tablespoon of the lime juice.

Layers 3 and 10: Creme Fraiche (or Crème Fraîche if you're wearing dress slacks and have company you want to impress)
2 cups heavy cream
4 Tbs. buttermilk

Combine in a bowl, stir until well mixed. Cover with a tea cloth and leave in your kitchen for like half a day (12-14 hours) until it's nice and thick. Refrigerate until used.

Layers 4 and 11, option 1: Salsa Roja Admittedly this is Alton Brown's recipe, but it's only a part of the whole
6 Roma tomatoes, chopped
4 garlic cloves, minced
2 seeded and minced jalapenos, plus 2 roasted, skinned and chopped jalapenos
1 red bell pepper, fine dice
1/2 red onion, fine chopped
2 dry ancho chiles, seeded, cut into short strips and snipped into pieces
1 tablespoon olive oil
1 lime, juiced
Chili powder, salt, and pepper, to taste
Fresh scallions, cilantro or parsley, to taste

In a bowl, combine all ingredients. Place in refrigerator for up to 12 hours for flavor infusion.

Layers 5 and 12: CHEESE If you want to just grab the Sargento Fancy Shredded 4 Cheese Mesican Cheese Blend, that's probably cool, but I prefer you get better cheeses for this dish.
1 cup shredded organic sharp cheddar
1 cup shredded organic pepper jack cheese
1 cup shredded organic queso blanco

6 and 13: Diced Black Olives
1 jar of black olives, yes the cheap salty kind

Dice olives.

Layers 7 and 14: Chopped Green Onions
12 or so green onions

Chop green onions.


Finally, with what little strength you have left, put down a layer of half the refried beans, then half the guac, then half the creme fraich, then half the salsa, then half the cheese, then half the olives, then half the green onions. Repeat on top of the first 7 layers, or if you're chicken, McFly, use a second serving dish.

BUT WAIT, I'M NOT FRIGGIN DONE YET.

Homemade Tortilla Chips
30 corn tortillas, quartered
5-6 cups corn oil
sea salt

In a large saucepan, heat about 4 cups of the oil until it reaches about 360 degrees. Meanwhile, prepare a grate of some kind upon which to place your dripping tortilla chips, probably over something that will catch the drippings.

A few at a time, as many as can fit without bothering one another, add the tortilla quarters to the hot oil and cook for about 1 minute and then flip them over to cook on the other side for another minute, until that beautiful golden brown. When you remove and start draining them, there's a small window when the sea salt will stick to the surface, so use it. As you cook more and more, you may notice the oil level is dropping, so feel free to turn down the temperature and CAREFULLY add a bit more oil as needed. If you so wish, you can squirt a tiny bit of lime on some of the chips, but not my chips. I like 'em regular.


Okay, you've done it. I suggest serving this with Dos Equis Lager and homemade lime soda (I can give you that recipe). I do this every Christmas Eve for my family and friends.

My fingers hurt.