[Number 1.0 turns on some music and Hermes slides down a tube into the 'incoming mail' pile.]

(singing) When I was born there was a hurricane in Kingston Town

With a foot and a half of water.

Everyone was alright but I cried all night

It blew my alphabet blocks out of order.

And they said "This boy's born to be a bureaucrat,

Born to be all obsessive and snotty."

I made my friends and relations file long applications

To get into my 10th birthday party.


[He scoops up some red tubes, slides down a tube and drops them
into some filing cabinets. LaBarbara pop up from one of them.]



LABARBARA (SINGING)
But something changed when my man turn
pro.


HERMES (SINGING)
I was sortin' but I wasn't smilin'.



[He throws a tube to LaBarbara and she catches it.]


LABARBARA (SINGING)
He forgot that it's not about badges
and ranks.


HERMES (SINGING)
It's supposed to be about the filing!
People!


[He jumps onto Number 1.0's desk and starts juggling the tubes.]



We didn't choose to be bureaucrats,

No that's what almighty Jah made us!

We treat people like swine,

And make 'em stand in line,

Even if nobody paid us!


[He dives off the desk into the pile of red tubes.]


They say the world looks down on the bureaucrats,

They say we're anal, compulsive and weird.

But when push comes to shove,

You gotta do what you love,

Even if it's not a good idea! [He slides down the pile and throws
the red tubes around the crew like a knife thrower.] Zoidberg!



ZOIDBERG (SINGING)
They said I probably shouldn't be a
surgeon.


FARNSWORTH (SINGING)
They poo-pooed my electric frankfurter.



LEELA (SINGING)
They said I probably shouldn't fly with
just one eye.


[A tube hits her in the eye.]

BENDER (monotone)
Please insert girder.

[Hermes inserts a message tube and Bender bends it sending the
red tubes flying off in a different direction. Hermes rips off
his shirt revealing a grooby Jamaican shirt underneath.]


HERMES (SINGING)
Everybody sing Jamaica!


[He limbos under the flying tubes.]


EVERYBODY (SINGING)
Jamaica!


HERMES
Just the bureaucrats, Jamaica!


BUREACRATS (SINGING)
Jamaica!


HERMES (SINGING)
The grade 19s!


[Morgan looks around and reluctantly joins in.]


MORGAN
Jamaica.


[Hermes starts a conga line with the bureaucrats.]


HERMES (SINGING)
Sing me home!

When push comes to shove,

You gotta do what you love,

Even if it's not a good idea!


[He picks up a red tube, takes Bender's disk out of it and throws
it into Bender's head. Bender's personality reactivates.]


BENDER
I'm Bender baby, please insert liquor!



[The crew cheer Hermes.]


FRY
Yeah!

ZOIDBERG
Congratulations!