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What is it that gets you off with penetration? Is it physical, emotional, psychological? (all can play a huge role). I've been with women that get off no matter what you do, I've been with women that only would achieve orgasm through penetration, or through digital/oral stimulation. I've also been with women that I wasn't able to achieve orgasm with through oral, but could with penetration, and vice versa. Everyone is different. As long as you're satisfied and your partner is satisfied, it's a beautiful thing. That being said, on both sides of the equation, it can be a stressful, confusing, sometimes frustrating issue. Sometimes it just takes some (or a lot) of relaxation and just enjoying the experience. Instead of maybe just concentrating on getting off, try both thinking about and visualizing what it is that gets you off when you do achieve orgasm and apply that when other means of stimulation aren't getting the job done.
Sometimes it's just a matter of relaxing and letting yourself go. Don't think about it, just enjoy the experience.
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I've got the love of my life and a job that I enjoy most of the time. Life is good.
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