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A long one, but my favorite:
One day, the elementary teacher assigned each student to tell a personal story that had a moral.
The first little girl stands up and says: My family raises chickens for eggs. Every Sunday, we gather the eggs before church and take them to town with us to sell for grocery money. One Sunday we were on our way to town and the basket of eggs flew out and they all broke. We could not afford groceries and went hungry that week. The moral is, Don't put all your eggs in one basket.
The second little girl stands up and says: My family raises chickens and sells them for meat. One year we had quite a lot of eggs so our father promised a huge Christmas. But only half of them hatched. So we had a very meager Christmas and we were very disappointed. The moral is don't count your chickens before they're hatched.
Then Little Johnny stands up and says: So my uncle ted is flying over the Mi-Kong Delta when his plane takes a direct hit from anti-aircraft fire. He looks around the plane and all he finds is a parachute, a case of beer, an M-16, and a big knife. So he jumps from the burning plane, and chugs the beer on the way to the ground. When he hits the ground he's surrounded by over a hundred Viet-Cong. He starts mowing them down with the machine gun until it runs out of bullets. Then he starts killing them with the knife, until it gets stuck in a skull. So he beats the rest of them to death with his bare hands.
The teacher interrupts and says: Johnny that's horrible, what could the moral of that possibly be?
And Johnny says: Don't mess with Uncle Ted when he's been drinking.
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