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I have had problems in the past too. If my mind is somewhere else I just can't help it. Stress, work etc... That's why music, shower etc.. is so important to separate yourself from the world.
Ever try a jog, gym or dancing together? Get the blood and minds flowing in a different way.
Everybody is different and most people do have their "one" way of getting off. With each of my GFs we'd do stuff, play and what not but in the end, to finish off, we'd go to that one position or "one" way that works.
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