Guess I'll share, though I'm sure smrt will be slightly mortified.
We had been fooling around for a few months, not full blown sex but just about everything else. We would drive his van out in to a field at night and pull all the back seats out and fool around for hours. This was pretty much a nightly routine. Our disastrously funny events all involved us trying to incorporate food into our evenings.
So for whatever reason, we thought it would be fun/sexy to get a can of whipped cream on one occasion and Popsicles on another. Both went horribly wrong!
First the whipped cream: We bought a can of Reddi-whip and headed out to the desert to have our fun, I think we might even have bought some chocolate syrup. So there we are stark naked in the middle of the desert and he goes to squirt some of the whipped cream on my nipple. I am horribly ticklish and tend to thrash and flail when I am being tickled. Well the feeling of the Reddi-whip being expelled onto my nipple set off exactly this reaction. I flailed, hit he can, and the next thing I heard was im2smrt4u saying "owww". The can had gone flying at his face and left a star shaped cut about a cm from his eye. It was difficult to explain to our parents how he ended up with a cut in that shape near his eye.
The other incident involving the Popsicles went even worse. For whatever reason, smrt had the idea that it would be fun and an interesting experience for me if we played with Popsicles.
This idea most likely came from a porn he watched and thought it would be great fun to try on me. I should have said no, but being a horny 18yr old, I was up for anything. So once again, we are in the van stark naked in the middle of the desert and in goes the Popsicle. Let me tell you this is the worst idea ever! Instant cold that made my whole body get goose bumps. As I recall this experiment was done in the middle of the summer which meant that even at night it was still about 90F. I swear I felt cold all night and the next morning it still felt like the popsicle was inserted into my vag. It was awful but all we could do was laugh at what a horrible idea it was.
We have never again tried to bring food into our sexcapades. Smrt really wants to eat sushi off me but I won't let him. All I can imagine is wasabi getting its way into my naught parts or some other awful event occurring.