Wes Mantooth

We've all been there haven't we? What should be a fun romp in the sack turns into a comedy of errors, miscommunication, blunders and bloopers so awkward that you still cringe when you think about it years later. Maybe when trying to undo her bra you hook your finger into the blinds above the bed and pull the whole thing down on top of you? Accidentally released the parking brake in the throws of passion sending the car rolling down a hill while nude and screaming? Ever reach into your wallet and pull out condoms that are way too small (or big) and you've got nothing else? Remember that time the girl you were crushing on really hard came over to hang out and you awkwardly tried to start something only to find out how so very wrong you were about everything?

I'm sure we can all look back on those bad sexual episode and laugh about them now so lets hear about it. Dig up something from the past or what the hell post something that happened last night if you want to. If anything it might make for a pretty funny thread.

EDIT: Alright I apparently can't sleep so why don't I start us off. Out of all the examples I posted above the first actually happened to me when I was in high school. I'd been trying to get the attention of a girl from my school and low and behold she actually invited me over on a weekend when her parents had left town. Of course that was probably the only thing that went right the rest of the night.

I show up at her place in my new truck with the contents of a few mini bars that somehow found their way from a local hotel to the back of my closet (don't ask, the liquor fairy works in mysterious ways). She seemed a little taken aback by all the alcohol but after I talked my way inside she went nuts with it...in a few hours she was so drunk she couldn't get off the floor and I had gone from lampshade on the head drunk to head in the toilet drunk. Yet somehow we groped and kissed or way into her parents bed room. It was going pretty good until until I tried to be smooth and unhook her bra, only somehow in my drunken state I hooked my finger around the sting on the venetian blinds, I fiddled with it for a bit, finally got fed up and just gave the whole thing a a good yank (I have no idea what I was trying to achieve with that). The string snapped, half the blinds somehow fell out, the curtains came with them and she completely looses it.

The night probably could have been salvaged, sure she was upset that her Moms new blinds (apparently they were brand new as were the curtains) had been broken but shit happens right? Well I insisted that I could fix it, too drunk to stand I climb up on the bed and figured I could just tie the string back together or maybe make it look good enough that she'll stop worrying about it and we could get back to business. In the process I loose my balance, spill a bottle of tequila on the mattress and knock over the bed stand shattering a lamp all while comically nude. She threw me out.

I was too drunk to even hope to drive home so whats a guy to do? I wasn't going to leave the truck I'd just spent the better part of 2 years saving up to buy in her driveway while I walked home so I crawled into the cab and fell asleep...it turned out that was probably a mistake. I'm awoken the next morning to her throwing tiny, empty bottles of booze at my truck and screaming something about her parents coming home any minute. We tended to avoid one another in the halls after that.

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