Baraka_Guru

I've been following this quietly for a while now. I sympathize for you in your situation, but you've received a lot of good advice.

This last post of yours really stuck out, especially after all that you've read.

Let me be clear: hope is not a strategy.

Do you want to know one possible factor as to why you've found yourself where you are now? This idea that it's okay to just wait for "some things to tip in your direction."

Let me reiterate: hope is not a strategy.

If you want things to happen, you have to make them happen. You need to set measurable goals and you need to start working towards them---today---now.

You say you want to stick to what you're doing. Let me ask you: How is that working out for you?

You don't need to change who you are as a person, but it sounds like you need to change how you approach life. Do you let things happen to you, or do you make things happen?

Take responsibility.

__________________
Knowing that death is certain and that the time of death is uncertain, what's the most important thing?
—Bhikkhuni Pema Chödrön

Humankind cannot bear very much reality.
—From "Burnt Norton," Four Quartets (1936), T. S. Eliot