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One time I farted and it sounded like Ornette Coleman beating a bagpipe to death with a live maribou stork.
Another time I farted and it sounded like a pygmy mosquito playing a kazoo while riding the world's smallest Harley over microscopic rumble strips. (I was very, very nervous.)
---------- Post added at 04:36 PM ---------- Previous post was at 04:35 PM ----------
One time I farted and it sounded like someone raped a mebranophome with a digeridoo.
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Light a man a fire, and he will be warm while it burns.
Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.
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