Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community - View Single Post - Long distance boyfriend has a new female best friend

chelle21689 · 08-08-2010, 09:55 AM

I've been with my boyfriend for 3 years and 2 years long distance. Our 5 year anniversary is this week. Anyways, when he moved across the country with his family, he had no friends, no job, no life basically so he joined the Army Reserve. In training, he met tons of guy friends and some girl friends...when it was time to go back home none of his guy friends were in his unit but this girl from training was. So now they're super close, they go to army drills, language school, airborne school, and they're going to be deployed together.

Also, it doesn't help that she lives near the Army unit and he doesn't so when he goes and does army duties he'll spend the night at her place. He says it's easier since he lives over an hour away from the Army unit. But sometimes he'll even extend his stay because she's his only friend and she has a lot of friends to hang out with and that he's lonely for friendship at his home. (She lives with her family still...and my bf lives with his mom still)

I've met the girl, I've stayed at her place with my boyfriend several days during my visit. She even gave up her bed for us to sleep in together. When I'm with them, I'm not jealous...but when I'm far away I'm so jealous because they're together all the time and my imagination runs wild. She is cool, but I hate that she is close to my boyfriend! She has a fiance whom is deployed in Iraq...I know she is in love with him but I'm afraid that she could also be in love with my boyfriend too.

How do I deal with this? I'm afraid they'll fall in love or that they have a growing attraction. It's been many months of me dealing with this and the jealousy never seems to stop unless I hang out with them. My boyfriend reassures me that he is not attracted to her, she is like a dude, and that it'd never work out between them. I don't know if she tries to make me feel better but she acts really disgusted if someone mentions my bf and her together jokingly.

Is it even possible to be super close friends without romantic interest?? I trust him not to cheat physically...but I feel like he should avoid "dangerous" situations!

08-08-2010, 09:55 AM	#1 (permalink)
chelle21689 Tilted	Long distance boyfriend has a new female best friend I've been with my boyfriend for 3 years and 2 years long distance. Our 5 year anniversary is this week. Anyways, when he moved across the country with his family, he had no friends, no job, no life basically so he joined the Army Reserve. In training, he met tons of guy friends and some girl friends...when it was time to go back home none of his guy friends were in his unit but this girl from training was. So now they're super close, they go to army drills, language school, airborne school, and they're going to be deployed together. Also, it doesn't help that she lives near the Army unit and he doesn't so when he goes and does army duties he'll spend the night at her place. He says it's easier since he lives over an hour away from the Army unit. But sometimes he'll even extend his stay because she's his only friend and she has a lot of friends to hang out with and that he's lonely for friendship at his home. (She lives with her family still...and my bf lives with his mom still) I've met the girl, I've stayed at her place with my boyfriend several days during my visit. She even gave up her bed for us to sleep in together. When I'm with them, I'm not jealous...but when I'm far away I'm so jealous because they're together all the time and my imagination runs wild. She is cool, but I hate that she is close to my boyfriend! She has a fiance whom is deployed in Iraq...I know she is in love with him but I'm afraid that she could also be in love with my boyfriend too. How do I deal with this? I'm afraid they'll fall in love or that they have a growing attraction. It's been many months of me dealing with this and the jealousy never seems to stop unless I hang out with them. My boyfriend reassures me that he is not attracted to her, she is like a dude, and that it'd never work out between them. I don't know if she tries to make me feel better but she acts really disgusted if someone mentions my bf and her together jokingly. Is it even possible to be super close friends without romantic interest?? I trust him not to cheat physically...but I feel like he should avoid "dangerous" situations!