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Some old wounds from this situation.
There are a couple of situations that are similar for me and ring true to my past.
After a long hiatus of dating, I started seeing a coworker. She and were kind of setup by the company busy body. We dated for a long while, and all during that time, she knew my drinking and drugging habits. They weren't a surprise and I didn't hide them from her. They were part and parcel of who I was at the time. I had no idea of addiction, well more denial about it and no desire for what I coined as a four letter word, moderation.
Over time she thought I should or would change.
She tried to get into the lifestyle I chose, smoking a joint here and there, and binge drinking with me. She'd get drunk and start being a belligerent drunk, sometimes accusing me of making passes at her friends who were visiting with their boyfriends.
But eventually she told me that she couldn't do it any longer. We just wanted different things and didn't have any ideas as to truly where to go in our relationship.
I've tried talking to her again a couple years ago when our paths crossed again. I wanted to see her to talk to her about that time in my life. It wasn't the high point of the addiction but it was the build up to the hidden parts of my life. We've never gotten together, but I try to find out if we can go for coffee from time to time but it just never works out.
fast forward to my current relationship. My wife was told when we started dating that she couldn't ever tell me to stop smoking pot. She was fine it with it. It was the harder drug use that she couldn't tolerate, finding me strung out on the sofa in the middle of the night or early mornings.
We'd fight from time to time about it. I'd promise to change, and I would for a period of time then it would start up again. The last time was a number of years ago. With the help of some friends, she had an intervention and I went to rehab for 28 days.
damn it still hurts to think about this.
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