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Originally Posted by soma
I'm in grad school and am on the verge of making more than that, but she's a film studies major (not even done with it yet...) so any salary I make will be cut in half.
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Well, I was off. My assumptions were incorrect (as per usual) but unless your bach 'n mast degrees were paid for by someone other than student loans, you're in the same boat as someone with no college degree other than better job prospects. Even if your baby-grower has a good job, if you're both digging out of debt, the time and money costs of having a kid is only going to m... well, yeah. Dead horse.
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Originally Posted by Soma
She also has piles of loans that I don't want to even think about. I hate to be so shallow and only think about money, but it's really important to me because I could get fucked out of a lot of it.
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You need to rethink this statement. You're not being shallow. Money is the only issue here unless you don't want this kid for other reasons like the ability to sleep 8 hours at a stretch. Money is what takes care of you (it is why most people have a job) and money is definitely what will take care of this kid. If you're the only one bringing in the oolahs, it's a real problem. You know what's shallow? Keeping an unwanted child because of emotional weakness/family fantasy/religion/whatever. You can make another one. It's really easy. The guests of
Maury and
Jerry Springer prove it every week.
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Originally Posted by Soma
Her living situation with her parents is really unstable, and I'm getting super paranoid about her trying to get pregnant so she can leech off of me. When she told me the other day, I looked deeply into her eyes, and I didn't see fear or regret, it seemed like she was satisfied with what was happening. I haven't expressed any of these suspicions to her.
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This is bad. She's laying eggs without a frickin' nest, bro. Her student loans? Whatever. Her living arrangements? Whatever. Job? Whatever.
She's satisfied with having a baby when neither of you are emotionally or financially ready for it? Don't confuse confidence/comfort with idiocy.
A donkey isn't zen, it's just dumb.
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Edit3: One of the worst parts about this is how my parents are very against this. It's really going to wreck our relationship.
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My parents had a hard stance against some of my choices. And after the dust settled, I always found I'd have been better off listening.