Quote:
Originally Posted by soma
I'm in grad school and am on the verge of making more than that, but she's a film studies major (not even done with it yet...) so any salary I make will be cut in half. She also has piles of loans that I don't want to even think about. I hate to be so shallow and only think about money, but it's really important to me because I could get fucked out of a lot of it (although I do understand this is a result of my own actions, so really, I'm just fucking myself). Her living situation with her parents is really unstable, and I'm getting super paranoid about her trying to get pregnant so she can leech off of me. When she told me the other day, I looked deeply into her eyes, and I didn't see fear or regret, it seemed like she was satisfied with what was happening. I haven't expressed any of these suspicions to her.
Can someone explain the financial implications of this baby, and potentially child support if we do get separated?
Also, if this baby is not mine (very very unlikely) and I sign the birth certificate, does that mean I'm legally bound to the child even if it isn't mine? I was talking to some friends last night and someone mentioned something like that...
Edit: Adoptions is not something she is interested in either. She wants to have the baby and raise it too.
Edit2: Thanks for the comments. And there is still a part of me that wants to do the right thing and see this through...
Edit3: One of the worst parts about this is how my parents are very against this. It's really going to wreck our relationship.
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You took the fun without understanding the risk, I am sorry but you have become a creator, there is a life there now. You are responsible and you as a person should have to live up to that responsibility.
My daughter is my world until she was born I never could understand the love between a parent and a child, it is something special unique, and I hope you will see that after the child comes in to this world.
You have the right to bring up adoption, and blood test if you really feel that way, just realize the health of your child and the mother during pregnancy and
stress is important for her to avoid. Also this child is yours it is your son or daughter (dare i scare you even possibly multiples). As far as salaries and income and all that wow, that is all things thought of before you decide to unzip. Right now seriously she is on such a high level she is a creator she is creating life, that is part yours, this is an incredible joyous thing.
As far as your parents you may be surprised old school or not they will be grandparents. And that fact is not going to change, they will either come to terms and enjoy their grandchild or not, that is their perogative, but I am betting on them loving their grandchild. But your parents opinion now is to late really to be a factor you made your choice by dating her, and now you must live with your actions.
In life there is consequences for what your actions, this is one big lesson, but you can either think of it as a horrible thing, or work in the next few months to accepting and desiring and loving your child, don't punish the innocent child over your concerns.
As far as the birth certificate quesion, you can get your name removed via court if you can prove you are not actually the father (but you most likely will need a lawyer though I know in some courts the county clerk can help you do it by yourself).
Mazel tov