Originally Posted by Monolith

wow i dont know where to start with this one...

i'm a divorcee as well and after listening to some of the others i guess i can get this off my chest as well. Wierd that each and every time i talk about it i feel "relieved". So i guess with my divorce it was more of the i felt like i saw the commercial, thought i was getting something for less then i bargained for and wind up paying for it all in the end.

its wierd thought because even now after some 6 months into the aftermath of the actual divorce. She's still pulling strings. and i'm still trying to cut them all. Its wierd thought i feel like when i look back i was being set up for failure in this divorce. but now its more like the "signs" were so bright to my good friends and family its not funny.

And in a lot of ways i still blame myself for how things went. I shouldn't of gotten married to someone and then worked overseas. I should of communicated more and been less accepting.

i feel like i'm still going thru it even though its supposed to be over. i have the house but now that i have a renter i feel homeless. even thought my brother, uncle, relatives, all have said repeatedly.. come here. your welcome here. you don't have to wander. you don't have to stay working overseas if you dont want to trying to because of how the divorce went to make ends meat.

so the end all be all i think which was part of her plan. was she told me she cheated on me after i just returned from Iraq. that hurt. and still i was numb to it. There was a couple of close calls i feel like i had overseas and her affection and just being there i was craving the most. then there was her outcry at my brothers wedding. I shouldnt' of let her go but i couldnt' of foreseen her acting like that.

even just a week ago... after getting some emotion back towards her. I got this message that she never cheated on me. she just wanted to see my reaction.
i can't tell truth or lie anymore but then again i cant care anymore.