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i have a conflictual relation with mister money. i have trouble making myself keep track of it. sometimes that's ok and other times it isn't. i suppose not keeping track adds an element of adventure to otherwise banal affairs. but it's a stupid kind of adventure.
i don't quite know how i drifted into this relationship in which money is ok to spend but not worth thinking about not to mention keeping track of.
it's probably intertwined with old lizard brain things reinforced by the special kind of broke a boy without a trust fund gets to be in a ph.d. program if he has the above mentioned kind of relation to money. so it probably started out as an anxiety management strategy.
but it hasn't really done me a whole lot of good.
but i've had fun.
now i'm more cool with it.
ok that's a lie.
i'm working on it.
it's just so stupid a thing to think about.
ugh.
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a gramophone its corrugated trumpet silver handle
spinning dog. such faithfulness it hear
it make you sick.
-kamau brathwaite
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