|
Ok, let's do a quick update
My GF and I had a chat about our relationship. We shared what we felt about each other and ourselves, and it was pretty good. I think I was being overly emotional at the time I started this thread, but I figured out what I was doing wrong (this was completely independent of the relationship talk we had).
I thought the lack of attraction on her end was the problem when it was actually a symptom of a much greater problem. Since I started dating this girl, my life slowly but surely changed from happy and single, to dependent and paranoid. In other words, I was becoming incredibly needy and emotional (worst of all, I didn't even realize what was happening). On her end, she started meeting new people at school and work, and I wanted to keep her all to myself. I've come to realize that in a relationship, when one person becomes needy, and the other person does not, this can create an enormous amount of tension, and this is exactly what was happening. I've always known about the dangers of neediness, but didn't take a step back and consider how deep in I was.
Starting earlier this week, I made a big effort to start hanging out with my friends more, and boy what a difference it made in my attitude towards my relationship and feelings for my GF. It also seemed to respark her attraction towards me in a big way. We hung out again that week and it was like things were brand new between us. Hopefully I continue on this path and maintain a healthy relationship with her and my friends.
This is how I see things now:
Phase 1: Start hanging out with GF more and more
Phase 2: Fall in love, want to spend more time with GF
Phase 3: Hang out with friends much less frequently
Phase 4: Expect same undivided attention in return from her
<- Original post here
Phase 5: Conflict, breakup
Phase 6: Try to rebuild past friendships while broken hearted (this blows)
|