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Reaction to death is VERY individual specific. Noodle is, I suspect, far better able to deal with the deaths of the people she is trying to help than I. I could never do her job. As others have said, it may help to ignore or bottle up the feelings, for others there is a need of companionship, celebration and discussion. Whatever works, works. If you find yourself dwelling on it, then probably your coping mechanisms are inadequate... try another tack.
I will say, however, about your not going to your grandmother's funeral, that when you can, you should try to get to the funerals of both your own and friends' relatives. It IS important. I was relatively young (28) when my father died. A co-worker, a friend through business, was in another city during the visitation/funeral. I was there at the funeral home when this small, elderly woman came up and said she was my his mother, and that since he couldn't be there, he'd asked her to come and offer condolences.
That meant an incredible amount to me, and decades later, I still remember that so vividly. You may not know who doesn't come to funeral... but you will know who does.
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The secret to great marksmanship is deciding what the target was AFTER you've shot.
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