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Did she grow up in a lower class family? This may be part of what is swaying her ability to accept gifts from you.
I grew up in a relatively poor house, dad was truck driver sending what money he could home to my grandmother who was taking care of us. We were taught not to ask for things and kids in stores who did were shown scorn. We were bought clothes from thrift stores and we had a lot of hand me downs. I never needed for anything and I learned to want nothing.
To this day I still feel guilty asking for things, it drives im2smrt4u crazy that I won't tell him when I need something like makeup or if I want a new pair of jeans. To me these things are unnecessary expenditures and I do not feel that I can ask for them. Perhaps she has the same problem. As a grad student I am not working and I am living off of student loans. I feel guilty as hell that I have to rely on my husband to pay my portion of the rent and other things.
Just try talking to her, tell her how you really feel. Listen to her ask her why she feels the way she does and tell her that this is just one way you would like to express your love for her. If nothing else when she sees something she wants but can't afford buy it and save it for a birthday, Christmas or anniversary. Can't refuse gifts if that is what is traditional on those occasions.
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Frivolity, at the edge of a Moral Swamp, hears Hymn-Singing in the Distance and dons the Galoshes of Remorse. ~Edward Gorey
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