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Talked w/ my wife tuesday, she does not want to attempt to make the marriage work. I'm not surprised, looking back, the biggest problem in our marriage has been a lack of real commitment to the relationship. Rather than talk when she's upset, she'd do things to get back at me, and I'd not even know wtf she was doing or why until months later.
Unfortunately, I have placed myself in such a financial position that I can't afford to live on what I make alone. I have looked at my options, and all but decided to move in w/ parents. Yeah....41 years old and I'm going to be living in Mom's house again. Talk about a series of blows to the ego. Honestly, part of the reason I'm thinking I should move in w/ my parents is that they could use some financial help. They are barely making ends meet, and I can see the results of the stress they're under. I can't afford to rent a place, and this move benefits not only me, but them. I could sell my truck, and buy a beater car and be able to rent a a place, but ya know what? I really like my truck, and this situation will allow me me to breathe a little easier. Frankly, I also don't think living alone is a good idea for me, at least not right now.
I miss my wife, badly. I don't know why I miss her, when I look back on our marriage, it sucked. Why would I miss that?
I am already looking to start dating, I know I shouldn't, but ya know, I haven't had sex in almost 2 years, I'm fuckin horny. Wasn't it US Two that used to say the best way to get over a woman is new pussy?
My anniversary is July 4th. I've made plans to go up to Vancouver, Wa for the weekend to party w/ a very good old friend. I intend on spending the weekend in a fog. It's gonna take me a week to recover, but I think it'll be very good for me....If I manage to come back w/ all 9-1/2 fingers and no criminal record...lol. Jeff and I usually get into trouble when we party together. His wife is gonna hate me after this weekend...then again, if she's married to Jeff, she'll be prepared!
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