"The word, “splitting” can be used in two senses: as a way of perceiving OR as something that is “done” to others, and which results in conflict between others. Splitting is a process that oscillates between external and internal manifestations. Inconsistent, irrational, labile, and unpredictable behavior on the part of parents (an external manifestation) can result in a developmental process whereby a child’s thought processes (an internal manifestation) come to mirror these external behaviors. For example, the external behavior of a parent (most often a mother), biases the thought processes of a child into thinking in black and white, polarized ways. Because the parent does not model behavior and thinking that allows for shades of gray, continua, and subtleties, the child internalizes similar patterns. Thus, an external, i.e. behavioral, process on the part of a parent becomes a way of black-and-white thinking and perceiving on the part of a child. This internal process in the child then externalizes into that child’s behavior, which can then cause that child to treat people in polarized, black-and-white ways, such as valuation/devaluation."
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