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Your options as I see it:
Option 1: Enter into an open relationship.
Option 2: Stay together as roommates, a la telekinetic's suggestion.
Option 3: Go your separate ways.
The common thread among these, you may have noticed, is they don't involve any subterfuge. Talk to your SO, figure out what's right for both of you. Be honest and frank. It might be painful, but at this point I suspect your situation is going to implode sooner or later anyway. Might as well deal with it on your own terms.
Of course, it's also possible that when you talk you'll discover that it's possible to maintain and repair the relationship with your SO. Do you want to continue your relationship with her?
Keep an open mind, and be clear on what your needs are. Couples split up all the time, even when there's a kind involved. No matter how you choose to deal with this, there's no reason that you can't both continue to be a big part of your child's life.
__________________
I wake up in the morning more tired than before I slept
I get through cryin' and I'm sadder than before I wept
I get through thinkin' now, and the thoughts have left my head
I get through speakin' and I can't remember, not a word that I said
- Ben Harper, Show Me A Little Shame
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