It sounds like the relationship has been over for a very long time. I understand your worries in regards to your son, but you are keeping yourself from being happy by staying with this woman.
I think you should leave her and start finding out the best way to stay in your son's life just as much as you are now. It can be hard, but you have other options than staying in a loveless relationship.
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"The fact is that censorship always defeats its own purpose, for it creates, in the end, the kind of society that is incapable of exercising real discretion..." - Henry Steel Commager
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