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Meier_Link · 05-30-2010, 07:19 PM

So recently I discovered my SO has been cheating on me. It shook me up when I discovered it and now I'm going back and forth between emotions.

We've been together for about 7 years, but probably would have gone our separate ways a long time ago if not for the child we have together. Our relationship has been strange and I've contemplated going out of our relationship before but never followed through with it. There have been a lot of times where I've considered that having an "open" relationship would be ideal.

We've gone for extended periods (a month or more) without sex, or at least I have (often with the aid of the Erogenous Zone). Probably because she seems to have set the priority for our sex pretty low and honestly I'm not that attracted to her.

When I think about what I would have done 10 years ago it seems pretty obvious. I would have flipped, kicked her out and started dating. Now though, things are not so black and white. I mean, the reason I'm still with her is so I raise my son. I don't want her to move 5 hours away and only see my son one weekend a month or something. Aside from that, I can't get that angry or bent out of shape when can sympathize with why she would do it.

Right now I'm feeling a little angry, probably mostly due to frustration. I'm jealous that she has found someone to fuck around with while I haven't even tried. I'm feeling a little betrayed, even though our relationship is pretty screwed up in the first place. And I'm feeling like an idiot for missing the signs for so long.

My plans at this point are to try to go out of the relationship myself, considering at this point that we are in a "don't ask don't tell" type of open relationship. I can't say if I want to find someone else more to fill something in me that has been missing or for revenge.

In the week since I discovered this I probably initiated more sex with her than in the month prior. Maybe I'm trying to fix whatever drove her to someone else in the first place, but even if I accomplish that I still feel that the rules of our relationship have changed.

I haven't talked to any of my friends or family about this as I'm a little embarrassed about it and I'm a private person in the first place. I have lost some sleep over this and I'm hoping this post will lessen the burden of carrying this alone.

05-30-2010, 07:19 PM	#1 (permalink)
Meier_Link Psycho Location: in a state of confusion	SO Cheating, Conflicting Emotions So recently I discovered my SO has been cheating on me. It shook me up when I discovered it and now I'm going back and forth between emotions. We've been together for about 7 years, but probably would have gone our separate ways a long time ago if not for the child we have together. Our relationship has been strange and I've contemplated going out of our relationship before but never followed through with it. There have been a lot of times where I've considered that having an "open" relationship would be ideal. We've gone for extended periods (a month or more) without sex, or at least I have (often with the aid of the Erogenous Zone). Probably because she seems to have set the priority for our sex pretty low and honestly I'm not that attracted to her. When I think about what I would have done 10 years ago it seems pretty obvious. I would have flipped, kicked her out and started dating. Now though, things are not so black and white. I mean, the reason I'm still with her is so I raise my son. I don't want her to move 5 hours away and only see my son one weekend a month or something. Aside from that, I can't get that angry or bent out of shape when can sympathize with why she would do it. Right now I'm feeling a little angry, probably mostly due to frustration. I'm jealous that she has found someone to fuck around with while I haven't even tried. I'm feeling a little betrayed, even though our relationship is pretty screwed up in the first place. And I'm feeling like an idiot for missing the signs for so long. My plans at this point are to try to go out of the relationship myself, considering at this point that we are in a "don't ask don't tell" type of open relationship. I can't say if I want to find someone else more to fill something in me that has been missing or for revenge. In the week since I discovered this I probably initiated more sex with her than in the month prior. Maybe I'm trying to fix whatever drove her to someone else in the first place, but even if I accomplish that I still feel that the rules of our relationship have changed. I haven't talked to any of my friends or family about this as I'm a little embarrassed about it and I'm a private person in the first place. I have lost some sleep over this and I'm hoping this post will lessen the burden of carrying this alone. __________________ life is a sexually transmitted disease