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pan6467 · 05-17-2010, 02:59 PM

Ok so this is how my afternoon went. I was out and in the middle of nowhere when I got a flat tire. So, I do what anyone with AAA would do and I call AAA.

First, it takes an hour before the tow truck arrives. It passes by me 3 times, I guess standing out in the rain by a car with its hazards on is not obvious enough. The truck finally pulls next to me and the guy gets out.

Now, why is it no matter where I am the tow truck driver is always the same guy, early 20's, has a cheeck full of tobacco and very few teeth. They always have the same observations and enlightened intelligence.

"So you the guy with the broke down car?" They'll say, as they gum their chew, spit and wipe their mouth off with their sleeve and then walk around the car.

"Yes, I am I have a flat." I'll say.

"I see yer problem right here. You got a flat tear. Can't get nowhere with one of them."

"Thank you for noticing, now can you get me to the nearest Wal*Mart?"

"Why pay more money, I got me a cousin over in Podunk that sells nice used tears cheap."

"Ok then let's go there."

So we load up the car and I jump into the truck. Now these trucks are always very simple inside but they all look like they have 50 years worth of dirt in them and papers are always thrown every where. Mot to mention the smell of something dead permeating in the cab.

Now, we're on our way. It's always the same awkard conversations.. "any kids?"

Once we get to his "cousin's" I see, by the fact they look identical, there must be some inbreeding in that family tree.

"What we got here, Junior."

"Car won't run, Eugene."

"Well, right there's the problem, guy has a flat tear. You brought him to the right place. Let me see if I got that size."

"How's your mom and pa?"

"Great, Billy Bob just went and got Irlene pregnant for the 4th time... my sister's as fertile as potting soil, I'm here to tell ya."

"Yeah, well Billy Bob is my brother and you know our side of the family... us men breed us hord working stock."

I try to use my phone but no signal. I need relief from this insanity.

The guy returns and puts the tire on.

"Be, $50 even."

"Well, I'll have to pay by check, is that ok?"

"I really can't take a check from someone I don't know."

"Ok how about a Visa."

"well, I prefer cash."

"I don't have $50 on me."

So the guy goes and takes of the tire all the while yelling at his cousin for bringing a "deabeat" here.

The driver looks at me and then says, " you didn't say nothing bout not having cash."

"well, can ya take me to WalMart."

"I s'pose, But yoy need to call AAA again and let then know you need picked up here."

So I ask to use the phone.

"Phone's fer payin customers only." Tire shop guy states.

"I'll give you a dollar to let me call AAA."

"I s'pose but is that long distance? You need to pay me long distance fees if it is."

So I finally call AAA. Tell them where I am and the problem and get the usual, "We'll send someone right out" response.

Tow truck guy get a call on his radio... "I gots to go AAA just had a call and I gotta go handle it.

Tow truck man drives away. 5 minutes later he's back. "Did you call AAA?" he asks me.

I'm about crying now and plotting these 2 men's deaths, as I force myself to only say "yes".

"Well what seems to be the problem."

"I have a flat."

"Well can't my cousin give ya a new tear? Eugene, man out here needs a tear."

"Junior, he ain't got no cash. He needs to go to WalMart."

"Eugene, says ya got no cash... guess we'll take ya to WalMart."

When we get to Wal*Mart, the tow truck driver tells the clerk I was a handful.

That was my day.... how has yours been?

05-17-2010, 02:59 PM	#1 (permalink)
pan6467 Lennonite Priest Location: Mansfield, Ohio USA	And how was your day? Ok so this is how my afternoon went. I was out and in the middle of nowhere when I got a flat tire. So, I do what anyone with AAA would do and I call AAA. First, it takes an hour before the tow truck arrives. It passes by me 3 times, I guess standing out in the rain by a car with its hazards on is not obvious enough. The truck finally pulls next to me and the guy gets out. Now, why is it no matter where I am the tow truck driver is always the same guy, early 20's, has a cheeck full of tobacco and very few teeth. They always have the same observations and enlightened intelligence. "So you the guy with the broke down car?" They'll say, as they gum their chew, spit and wipe their mouth off with their sleeve and then walk around the car. "Yes, I am I have a flat." I'll say. "I see yer problem right here. You got a flat tear. Can't get nowhere with one of them." "Thank you for noticing, now can you get me to the nearest WalMart?" "Why pay more money, I got me a cousin over in Podunk that sells nice used tears cheap." "Ok then let's go there." So we load up the car and I jump into the truck. Now these trucks are always very simple inside but they all look like they have 50 years worth of dirt in them and papers are always thrown every where. Mot to mention the smell of something dead permeating in the cab. Now, we're on our way. It's always the same awkard conversations.. "any kids?" Once we get to his "cousin's" I see, by the fact they look identical, there must be some inbreeding in that family tree. "What we got here, Junior." "Car won't run, Eugene." "Well, right there's the problem, guy has a flat tear. You brought him to the right place. Let me see if I got that size." "How's your mom and pa?" "Great, Billy Bob just went and got Irlene pregnant for the 4th time... my sister's as fertile as potting soil, I'm here to tell ya." "Yeah, well Billy Bob is my brother and you know our side of the family... us men breed us hord working stock." I try to use my phone but no signal. I need relief from this insanity. The guy returns and puts the tire on. "Be, $50 even." "Well, I'll have to pay by check, is that ok?" "I really can't take a check from someone I don't know." "Ok how about a Visa." "well, I prefer cash." "I don't have $50 on me." So the guy goes and takes of the tire all the while yelling at his cousin for bringing a "deabeat" here. The driver looks at me and then says, " you didn't say nothing bout not having cash." "well, can ya take me to WalMart." "I s'pose, But yoy need to call AAA again and let then know you need picked up here." So I ask to use the phone. "Phone's fer payin customers only." Tire shop guy states. "I'll give you a dollar to let me call AAA." "I s'pose but is that long distance? You need to pay me long distance fees if it is." So I finally call AAA. Tell them where I am and the problem and get the usual, "We'll send someone right out" response. Tow truck guy get a call on his radio... "I gots to go AAA just had a call and I gotta go handle it. Tow truck man drives away. 5 minutes later he's back. "Did you call AAA?" he asks me. I'm about crying now and plotting these 2 men's deaths, as I force myself to only say "yes". "Well what seems to be the problem." "I have a flat." "Well can't my cousin give ya a new tear? Eugene, man out here needs a tear." "Junior, he ain't got no cash. He needs to go to WalMart." "Eugene, says ya got no cash... guess we'll take ya to WalMart." When we get to WalMart, the tow truck driver tells the clerk I was a handful. That was my day.... how has yours been? __________________ I just love people who use the excuse "I use/do this because I LOVE the feeling/joy/happiness it brings me" and expect you to be ok with that as you watch them destroy their life blindly following. My response is, "I like to put forks in an eletrical socket, just LOVE that feeling, can't ever get enough of it, so will you let me put this copper fork in that electric socket?"