Quote:
Originally Posted by Anonymous Member
Here's an update for anyone who is interested.
I went to the doctor today and discussed my situation in a nutshell. He acknowledged that I've likely had untreated depression for years. Only now it's worse.
|
Good for you for taking that big step!
Quote:
|
One point he made that I didn't realize is that he suggested now isn't a good time for major life changes because of my mood. This is a big part of my problem. I need to make life changes.
|
What kind of life changes do you need to make? If it's something positive like moving to a better job, that might actually be a good idea. But generally big changes like getting married, having a kid, moving to a new town, etc., are going to make life even more stressful and are going to make dealing with depression even more challenging.
Quote:
|
He suggested it's something I should take medication for. So he prescribed Effexor (venlafaxine). I'm to take it on a low dose for two weeks before going in for another appointment. I've never taken an antidepressant before. I've been opposed to them in the past, but I don't see much else for options.
|
I think everyone here understands your opposition and has been there...it feels like a crutch or a bandaid, but remember what Snowy (I think) said - depression is a physiological disorder that happens to have some cognitive and emotional components. It's a chemical imbalance. You wouldn't think a diabetic was weak for taking insulin, right?
Remember, too, that many antidepressants take a while to build up in your system, so it may be as long as 4-6 weeks before you really feel the full effect.
Quote:
|
I can't afford therapy and nothing else seems to work.
|
If you can manage to pay for a cognitive behavior therapist, I would highly recommend it. CB therapy tends to be time-limited and goal-oriented. It's not just about keeping you talking till you find the root of your neuroses, it's about actively changing the negative thought patterns that are underneath the cognitive side of the depression.
If you can't get to a therapist, I highly recommend "
," which is sort of a do-it-yourself cognitive therapy manual. It points out the known "distortions" that underlie the thinking of many people with depression and anxiety. You have to be kind of disciplined, though...I found that when I was depressed, I was sometimes too depressed to even read the damn book. You also have to be willing to step outside the patterns of your usual thinking and admit that the things you think are true ("I suck, I'm a failure, this might work for some people but I'm REALLY broken") are just symptoms of the disease.
Quote:
|
What's more is now I know I should tell my SO about all this. I'm wondering how they will take it given I've hidden much of this for years. I wonder how much they already know but didn't want to confront me about.
|
Absofuckinglutely. You need a support network, and if your SO loves you s/he is going to want to do everything they can to help.
Quote:
|
This is going to be very difficult. I don't know how I'm going to handle it. I don't talk to anyone about anything usually. I'm usually left to my own devices. I don't talk about feelings. Most of the time I don't even know if I have any or what they are.
|
I know at least from my experience, things always seem so much worse when I'm stuck in my own head, agreeing with all of my bullshit. Talking to someone else - even if all they do is nod and smile - really provides an alternate perspective. Sometimes just saying something aloud and hearing how it must sound to someone else makes me question it and think "how could I really think that is true?"
If you don't want to/can't talk to your SO, you might try joining a support group, either in real life or something online like
Depression Tribe.
You know we're all pulling for you. It might feel overwhelming, but at least now you're doing something! I can't remember who said "action is the antidote to despair" but it's true, or at least better than the alternative of sitting around hoping you can think yourself out of it.