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It was difficult to follow your post, but I think I understand the situation. Here's my assessment.
Your wife doesn't like being a wife and mother of five. She's created an alternate life which purposefully does not involve you. That life includes intimate relationships with other men. It really doesn't matter what she wants. What do you want? Is this what you believe a married life should look like? You have rights as a spouse, invoke them, set ultimatums, and make your own decisions based on her responses.
I'm really sorry this is happening to you and your kids. Good luck.
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Gives a man a halo, does mead.
"Here lies The_Jazz: Killed by an ambitious, sparkly, pink butterfly."
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