- Several elderly nuns were in their second floor convent one night when a fire broke out.

They took their habits off, tied them together to make a rope, and climbed out the window.

After they were safely on the ground and out of the building, a news reporter came over to one of the nuns and said to her, "Weren't you afraid that the habits could have ripped or broken since they are old?

The nun replied, "No, my boy, don't you know old habits are hard to break!

- One day, the head mother tells the two new sisters they have to paint their room without getting any paint on their clothes. So one nun says to the other, "We'd better take off all our clothes and lock the door."
They do this and begin painting. Soon they hear a knock at the door. "Who is it?" they ask.
"Blind man!" comes the answer.
The nuns look at each other and one says, "He's blind, he can't see anything. Let him in."
The man walks in and says, "Hey, nice tits. Where do you want me to hang the blinds?"