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Whats extremely difficult is that part of me blames myself for it all.
I blame myself for my poor judgement, for not telling people how far the abuse went, and for being abusive myself - I am usually a very calm and kind person but he used drugs a lot and it would upset me to the point where I would get angry too. I couldn't hurt him with my fists, or scare him, but I did shout at him, tell him how unhappy I was etc etc.
Were we both in the wrong?
I encouraged him to seek counselling, I tried always to talk through our problems but often he would stonewall me and that would just be unbearable and terribly lonely.
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"We make a living by what we get but we make a life by what we give"
Winston Churchill
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