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Martian · 04-10-2010, 08:51 AM

Well, I'm not going to sit here and give you a lecture. Your behaviour was pretty reprehensible, but you're going to be feeling the consequences soon enough without my intervention.

Guess what, chief -- 18 year old girls like to gossip. It's pretty much what they do. It was inevitable that she'd tell her friends, and now that she has it's inevitable that they're going to tell pretty much everyone they know. Your sister will find out about all of this, and probably sooner rather than later.

This is not a typical 'fuck buddy' scenario. Typical 'fuck buddy' scenarios are not unilateral -- it involves two people making a mutual decision to keep their relationship physical without all the emotional crap that goes along with it.

You've been using this girl for three months under false pretenses. Clearly she thought this was or was leading to a proper relationship, and clearly you did nothing to disabuse her of that notion. There's no way you're going to get out of this without hurting her.

Trying to just dodge her for the next six months is an immensely cowardly thing to do. It's not going to save her any pain, and is a maneuver designed solely for your own comfort.

If I were you... well, I wouldnt've gotten into a situation like this to begin with. But if I somehow did, I would start by sitting down with her and explaining as gently as possible that I'm not looking for a long term relationship. Don't worry about things like telling her how you've basically been abusing her trust for the last several months. She'll figure that part out all on her own.

I would also sit down with your sister and explain to her the situation. She's probably going to be pretty upset with you, but you knew that going in and it didn't stop you. Now you get to deal with the consequences of your actions.

In other words, stop being so fucking selfish and think about the other people involved here.

04-10-2010, 08:51 AM	#5 (permalink)
Martian Young Crumudgeon Location: Canada	Well, I'm not going to sit here and give you a lecture. Your behaviour was pretty reprehensible, but you're going to be feeling the consequences soon enough without my intervention. Guess what, chief -- 18 year old girls like to gossip. It's pretty much what they do. It was inevitable that she'd tell her friends, and now that she has it's inevitable that they're going to tell pretty much everyone they know. Your sister will find out about all of this, and probably sooner rather than later. This is not a typical 'fuck buddy' scenario. Typical 'fuck buddy' scenarios are not unilateral -- it involves two people making a mutual decision to keep their relationship physical without all the emotional crap that goes along with it. You've been using this girl for three months under false pretenses. Clearly she thought this was or was leading to a proper relationship, and clearly you did nothing to disabuse her of that notion. There's no way you're going to get out of this without hurting her. Trying to just dodge her for the next six months is an immensely cowardly thing to do. It's not going to save her any pain, and is a maneuver designed solely for your own comfort. If I were you... well, I wouldnt've gotten into a situation like this to begin with. But if I somehow did, I would start by sitting down with her and explaining as gently as possible that I'm not looking for a long term relationship. Don't worry about things like telling her how you've basically been abusing her trust for the last several months. She'll figure that part out all on her own. I would also sit down with your sister and explain to her the situation. She's probably going to be pretty upset with you, but you knew that going in and it didn't stop you. Now you get to deal with the consequences of your actions. In other words, stop being so fucking selfish and think about the other people involved here. __________________ I wake up in the morning more tired than before I slept I get through cryin' and I'm sadder than before I wept I get through thinkin' now, and the thoughts have left my head I get through speakin' and I can't remember, not a word that I said - Ben Harper, Show Me A Little Shame