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Old 03-27-2010, 06:10 AM   #55 (permalink)
james t kirk
Junkie
 
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Location: Toronto
I've done it in the past with a couple of GF's. I've set up the reality, and I've gone to swinger's clubs. It's very hot, it's just sex, and I don't get confused about it. I have lead a very satisfying sex life over the years.

As long as both people are up for it AND MOST IMPORTANTLY, will not get all weepy about it later on - then go for it. I find the scenario of a woman taking on a guy far more exciting than her taking on another female. (Perhaps because I think of the f/f thing with a guy being involved as being contrived. Pandering to the 16 year old boy's Penthouse fantasy.)

With me, I find myself attracted to the "hot slut wife" fantasy. The kind of woman who has a high sex drive, who loves cock, and at some level, can't be trusted. I get off on the competition in a way. In the end, I don't feel threatened by the other male in the least for several reasons. 1. I've come to a point in my life where I figure if it goes south, it goes south. It either works or it doesn't and if it does go south, you're better off. 2. I'm confident in my abilities in the bedroom, 3. I'm confident in my abilities to provide for her more so than most males and 4. it completely eliminates "cheating" or adultery from the context of a relationship (she is free to have sex with other men, so how can she cheat) 5. Monogamy is not natural behaviour for humans. We'd like to think it is, but it isn't. Admitting that and being honest about it and honest about desiring other people sexually is like a huge sigh of relief. You don't feel like you have to lie about your desire. (Actually, that's one of the harder things to ever get your head around - your partner asks you when you are out somewhere if you find that woman attractive and you'd like to have sex with her and you answer yes (as opposed to how we men have trained ourselves to lie and say, "No baby, it's only you that I want"). It's like a 10 thousand pound weight off your shoulders.)

I can't remember who said it to me, but they are absolutely correct. "If you have a good relationship and you are both open to swinging, swinging will make your relationship that much stronger. If you do not have a solid relationship - it (swinging) will blow it apart"

(I'm using the term swinging simply as a way to refer to having sex with someone other than your partner - take it in whatever context and apply whatever label you like.)

Last edited by james t kirk; 03-27-2010 at 06:18 AM..
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