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Originally Posted by Plan9
1) Bad guy, as far as defined by this scenario, would be going to play poke-poke outside the relationship. Can't really debate that point a whole lot.
2) Yes. My view is pretty dang narrow because I'm trying to fit it into this one scenario somehow with only half the story... all while not being a cynical prick. No, I don't believe that there is always a "loving partner" and a "cheating evil-doer." I do, however, believe that someone has to be the "bad guy" first through action. That and it isn't really a crime to be an asshole... some assholes are even happily married. Based on my life experience, there is "the occupied and oblivious partner and the cheater" or the "aimless and mediocre partner and the cheater." I've been the dunce in both cases and I'll admit it. Can't blame the landmine if you step on it. I've learned a lot from it. Got outta those situations unscathed and with the benefit of perspective.
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Climate is different today. Like David Bowie stuttered: ch-ch-changes! I'm not a genius, but I'll learn eventually.
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that's what I'm trying to get at...being that we have very limited information to go on, framing this as a good guy, bad guy situation is not very constructive
Now, as for the wrongs that can be done in a relationship (and I'm not including obvious offenses such as abuse), cheating is just one of them and not even a particularly significant one. I know very few people whose marriages ended by cheating, but very, very many whose ended because they weren't getting what they needed in other ways from the relationship.
I agree that cheating is wrong and am not trying to say that people who cheat are 'less bad' than any others. Just that, like I said before, there are other ways of betraying a spouse that are just as 'wrong.' Without having a total picture to go by, it's hard to define what is going on in any given relationship.