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Spiker, man , get out now, no not the marriage. Man some of these people are just twisting you up to spin so they can live vicariously through your experience. You know what to do. I've been so angry at my husband, then we made up and I got super drunk and did the whole weed wacker thing too, that was still for him. just because her panties were wet, doesn't mean shit, she could have been thinking about you.
The real question is if YOU want to make it work or not. If you do want to make it work then get involved with her again, to the point where you are the one she wants to have sex with. At this point the only thing you'll prove with confrontation, is either you don't trust her, or your looking for a way out.
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you can tell them all you want but it won't matter until they think it does
p.s. I contradict my contradictions, with or without intention, sometimes. 
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