|
Major Appliances Lead to Fondling
Hello, my name is _John_Smith_ and I'm a appliance-present-woman-groper.
Let me take a minute and explain my "condition."
Whenever my delectable female partner is standing in front of a major appliance--the stove/range, the microwave, the kitchen sink, the washing machine, etc.--I get this weird impulse to walk up behind them and grab a boob. It almost always involves a kiss on the neck (next to the ear is popular) and a weird comment like, "Feed me a stray cat." Most of the time it isn't even sexual... I mean, I don't necessarily want to have sex with them immediately, I just want to grab a boob. For no reason. Just to feel the weight, just because it's a perfect perky B cup, just to say it's mine, just to be like, "Hey, you've got a nice produce stand there, ma'am."
I get mixed reviews from this activity. Some partners have found this to be very endearing and arousing, others have decided that I need to take up origami or something else to occupy my annoying probing paws.
Is this normal? Do I have appliance-present-must-fondle peers at TFP?
(humor disclaimer available upon request)
|