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NOTE: Any kids out here that found this thread because of Google or whatever, shooting up your school isn't going to do shit (other than make you into the news of the day to distract people from what's really going on in the world). Odds are you won't get to everyone on your list and you won't be defending other kids from bullying. The real kicker is that you won't even feel that satisfaction you think you'll feel when you open fire. In other words, nothing you want it to do will happen and you'll die disappointed in yourself. It will be a complete failure and then you'll die.
If you really went to get out of your rut, you need allies... scratch that, you need objective allies, people that won't just give you blanket support but that can really give you outside insight into what you're going through. This is one reason licensed therapists exist, but if you don't have access, these people can be found elsewhere (parent, clergy, teacher, etc.). You need a social structure in place from which you can draw strength. Fortunately, even if this person or these persons aren't perfect at helping you, just being engaged will help you. On top of this, school is not the only place to make friends for kids. I made a ton of friends doing martial arts when I was a teenager. The same is true of lots of things: sports teams, music, a job, etc. If school isn't a good social outlet, nothing's stopping you from finding another one.
You're never, ever alone. There will always be folks out there who will be willing to help you. If you're ever feeling like your fuse is about to go off or you're at wit's end, PM me and I can put you in contact with someone who can help.
/threadjack
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