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Originally Posted by snowy
Sociometric status is part of what's looked at when bullying is examined. Rejected children in particular tend to be bullied. There are two subtypes of rejected children: rejected-aggressive and rejected-withdrawn. One of the biggest factors that contributes to bullying of rejected children is that they consistently misinterpret the social cues given to them by their peers, and they shift blame from themselves to others for their social shortcomings. Additionally, children who are consistently bullied often engage in passive behavior that does nothing to discourage their bully; instead, the bully finds the lack of reaction frustrating and continues the behavior. According to Berk, "[Chronic victims] reinforce perpetrators by giving in to their demands, crying, and assuming defensive postures." Other factors that contribute to victimization include a frail physical appearance, a history of resistant attachment, inhibited temperament, overly controlling child rearing, and an overprotective mother.
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I hope everyone read this because it's pretty damned important. There was a study performed recently on this subject which returned interesting results:
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Kids who had social problems also had problems in at least one of three different areas of nonverbal communication: reading nonverbal cues; understanding their social meaning; and coming up with options for resolving a social conflict.
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Studies Reveal Why Kids Get Bullied and Rejected | LiveScience
Fortunately, if you recognize warning signs of these problems, there are steps which can be taken to curb them or even prevent them.
1) Ask the child what happened and listen without judgment.
2) Ask the child to identify their mistake. (Often children only know that someone got upset, but don't understand their own role in the outcome.)
3) Help the child identify the cue they missed or mistake they made, by asking something like: "How would you feel if Emma was hogging the tire swing?" Instead of lecturing with the word "should," offer options the child "could" have taken in the moment, such as: "You could have asked Emma to join you or told her you would give her the swing after your turn."
4) Create an imaginary but similar scenario where the child can make the right choice. For example, you could say, "If you were playing with a shovel in the sand box and Aiden wanted to use it, what would you do?"
5) Lastly, give the child "social homework" by asking him to practice this new skill, saying: "Now that you know the importance of sharing, I want to hear about something you share tomorrow."