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GreyWolf · 02-11-2010, 05:08 AM

Our social structure and evolution tends to promote bullying in a perverse way. Males are socialised to protect women, children, and the weaker among us. We are, whether we like it or not. With advancing technology eliminating a lot of the natural threats, we've lost a lot of the outlets for the aggression inherent in that socialisation process. So... we end up creating the very thing we're training ourselves to prevent. If I can't slay lions to protect my family/village, I'll push someone else around to release my pent-up aggression. Not condoning it, just explaining it.

For the most part, we get around this through ritualised aggression like games, sports, or other physical activities. Some people (women as well as men) don't find the necessary, or sufficient, release in these pursuits, either through lack of skill or lack or interest. They become bullies.

Bullying exists because of social acceptance. Period. Where the society reacts strongly against the bully, the bullying stops. A group of small individuals, acting in concert, are still bigger than a single bully. It's a microcosm of why we are social animals... there is strength in numbers. Adults appropriately respond to bullying through social strictures, the courts, the police, or even prison. Children may respond in kind, or appeal to parental/adult authority.

I also believe that IMMEDIATE response in kind is NOT INAPPROPRIATE, depending on the circumstance. Resorting to finding an authority may well enable the bully to achieve the satisfaction he craves. The punishment meted out for his action is too far delayed to really impact the behaviour in the future. I have told my children that they not only have a right to stand up to bullying, but that they have an OBLIGATION to do so, particularly if the bullying involves someone else. It's amazing how many bullies don't like to be interrupted in their bullying. It helps that my sons are a 6'1" rugby player and a 6'3" basketball player, but the principle is the same. Stopping the bullying AS IT IS HAPPENING is the best, most effective solution.

02-11-2010, 05:08 AM	#16 (permalink)
GreyWolf Sober Location: Eastern Canada	Our social structure and evolution tends to promote bullying in a perverse way. Males are socialised to protect women, children, and the weaker among us. We are, whether we like it or not. With advancing technology eliminating a lot of the natural threats, we've lost a lot of the outlets for the aggression inherent in that socialisation process. So... we end up creating the very thing we're training ourselves to prevent. If I can't slay lions to protect my family/village, I'll push someone else around to release my pent-up aggression. Not condoning it, just explaining it. For the most part, we get around this through ritualised aggression like games, sports, or other physical activities. Some people (women as well as men) don't find the necessary, or sufficient, release in these pursuits, either through lack of skill or lack or interest. They become bullies. Bullying exists because of social acceptance. Period. Where the society reacts strongly against the bully, the bullying stops. A group of small individuals, acting in concert, are still bigger than a single bully. It's a microcosm of why we are social animals... there is strength in numbers. Adults appropriately respond to bullying through social strictures, the courts, the police, or even prison. Children may respond in kind, or appeal to parental/adult authority. I also believe that IMMEDIATE response in kind is NOT INAPPROPRIATE, depending on the circumstance. Resorting to finding an authority may well enable the bully to achieve the satisfaction he craves. The punishment meted out for his action is too far delayed to really impact the behaviour in the future. I have told my children that they not only have a right to stand up to bullying, but that they have an OBLIGATION to do so, particularly if the bullying involves someone else. It's amazing how many bullies don't like to be interrupted in their bullying. It helps that my sons are a 6'1" rugby player and a 6'3" basketball player, but the principle is the same. Stopping the bullying AS IT IS HAPPENING is the best, most effective solution. __________________ *The secret to great marksmanship is deciding what the target was AFTER you've shot.*