Quote:
Originally Posted by Plan9
My problem was that I didn't deal with the bullying, I shut off my life to avoid it like a turtle pulling up into its shell. I was an ugly, goofy kid and bullied constantly until I finished high school. I didn't fit in anywhere (even the freak kids didn't like me) and I was pretty much excluded from any type of social activity related to school from 6th to 12th grade. Needless to say, the military did a good job of inflating my balls. I truly regret not having said balls while I was in high school, though. I could have done great things with those years... track and cross country, debate team, making eye contact with girls, and not letting a bunch of mouth breathers convince me that I was worthless and better off sitting in a darkened bedroom. I used that alone time to develop the wonderful personality you see in my posts. Maybe this is part of the reason I avoid social networking sites like Facebook... seeing how much better off I am now than those that used to torment me is too bittersweet. They don't know how much I let them hurt me and they don't care because they don't even remember... and even though I'm better than them now, I'll never forget any of it. If there's a win, it isn't a clean one. Eh.
It's incredibly difficult being a teenager if you don't have the support network of strong parents, a close family, and friends that'll listen. Turns out we aren't programmed for greatness; we mimic others. I didn't have those things and it really fucked up my life for a while. Your whole world is this shit sandwich and you don't really wanna take a bite. You are your own best friend when you're a "loser" and "outcast" and a general purpose human dumping ground... and thus you're your own worst enemy. You become so fixated on defending yourself that you miss out on life.
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Sounds like someone was rejected or neglected.
The Wikipedia article on sociometric status isn't the greatest, but it gives you an idea:
Sociometric status - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Sociometric status is part of what's looked at when bullying is examined. Rejected children in particular tend to be bullied. There are two subtypes of rejected children: rejected-aggressive and rejected-withdrawn. One of the biggest factors that contributes to bullying of rejected children is that they consistently misinterpret the social cues given to them by their peers, and they shift blame from themselves to others for their social shortcomings. Additionally, children who are consistently bullied often engage in passive behavior that does nothing to discourage their bully; instead, the bully finds the lack of reaction frustrating and continues the behavior. According to Berk, "[Chronic victims] reinforce perpetrators by giving in to their demands, crying, and assuming defensive postures." Other factors that contribute to victimization include a frail physical appearance, a history of resistant attachment, inhibited temperament, overly controlling child rearing, and an overprotective mother.
So...how do we stop bullying? Well, we think about this question a lot. Bullying is a very hot topic in human development and early childhood education; we would like to stop it before it starts. One of the ways we can do that is by creating environments that discourage bullying by promoting prosocial attitudes and getting young people on board with anti-bullying. One of the major things we need to teach children is that it's okay to intervene if you see someone being bullied. It's okay to to tell an adult. And that is what I would ask you--how many times did you stand by while someone got the snot kicked out of them? Did you do anything about it?
I don't tolerate bullying and I never have. My brother was bullied when we were younger, but he could rely on me to nip it in the bud if I happened to be in the same school as he was. As a youth, I climbed over bus seats to clock a guy who was bullying my brother. Probably not the best response, but my temper got the best of me, and it DID get the bus driver's attention.