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The Judge is a FANTASTIC "lady's gun." Unless you get into the "Elephant-killer" .45LC loads, recoil is no problem, whether shooting .410 or .45. Between the leverage of having all that weight forward of your hand, and Taurus's rubber grip, it's nothing you can't handle, I promise. My Mom, who stands all of 5'3" and 110lbs soaking wet, uses hers to bust copperheads and water-moccasins every summer. There is one consideration, though; the chambers. The 2.5" model shoots then .45LC -very- accurately, but the 3" Magnum can't shoot the .45 for shit; too much freebore between the bullet and the forcing cone. A .45LC out of the 3" Judge will be keyholing inside 15yrds. However, if all you're after it for is the shotgun capability, go with the 3" if possible. For concealed-carry purposes, Taurus also makes a "chopped" 2.5" version with a bobbed hammer, short barrel, and "boot" grip; this one's called the Public Defender.
As for ammo, Federal is now loading a "Premium Defense" 2.5" shell specifically for the Judge; either #4 Buck or OO Buck at 1200fps. At close range, that turns the .410 into a very viable defensive tool. Not sure I'd trust other, slower .410 buckshot loads, and birdshot should be reserved for busting snakes. Our Judges are usually loaded thus;
Chamber 1: #8 birdshot, for snakes.
Chambers 2-3: OO or OOO buckshot, for possible rabid small critters.
Chambers 4-5: garden-variety .45LC hollowpoints.
Set up like that, the Judge now allows you to defend yourself against literally anything in the woods, at least on the East Coast. .45LC has been killing bad guys real dead for over 100 years now, and it's racked up more that a few deer and bears besides. If a Bad Guy comes through your door, just grab it and start shooting. By the time he gets the memo that he might oughta get mad 'cause you just blasted him with birdshot (which will hurt, but not much else unless it hits his eyes), that buckshot and those two .45s are on the way and he has -much- bigger problems.
Only caution I would make on the Judge is that it is a .410, and a small-capacity one at that. You're not exactly throwing a tonne of shot here, and your useful range is probably going to be somewhat diminished compared to a 20ga or 12ga shoulder-arm, due to the shorter bbl and lower velocities. If you do decide on the Judge, might wanna consider a 20ga that you can use as well; Remington makes an 870 Tactical in 20ga specifically for ladies; 7+1 capacity IIRC, and -very- nicely balanced.
As for the dog, I'm not sure about a Lab. Labs tend to be great family dogs, but big doofuses. Noisy (if they decide to be, which they frequently don't), but not any great shakes in the brains department and tending towards laziness. For guard-dog duty, you want one that'll "patrol" a couple of times a night "just to make sure everything's still there." It looks like a neurotic behavior, and it can be if carried to excess, but a dog with that instinct is a good bet. Working/hunting dual-use breeds are good for this, but any mutt will do if they can do the job. There are only two things -every- criminal knows and fears; the sound of a weapon being loaded and the sound of an Akita about to digest his testicles.
Between a large dog, a properly set-up shotgun, and the alarm system, it sounds like y'all will be good to go. "Defense in depth" is the way to go with home defense, and every layer you add buys you more time to call the cops, arm up, or just GTFO.
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