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You should talk together with a financial planner. These are all really valid questions that a professional in the field can help you sort out. There are ways of structuring the debt so she remains solely responsible for it, even though you may contribute toward payments on it as needed.
The "with no resentment" part is in your hands, of course. Now as somebody married 14 years, I can pretty much guarantee you'll find reasons to resent her. If it's not the debt it'll be something else. Far as I can tell, if you're a human being, you'll resent people from time to time, particularly those you care the most about. So I wouldn't worry about whether or not you'll resent her; you absolutely will, and she will you. Nature of the beast. I'd get more interested in what you're going to do with that resentment when it shows up.
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