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Personally, I think you screwed the pooch the first time you did anything with the sister-in-law that involved more physical contact than a hug or a quick peck on the cheek. I mean, you have options...
Tell the wife what you've been doing, risk divorce, alienation with that whole side of the family. Maybe the sister will still want you afterwards, but she'll be a pariah as well.
Tell the sister-in-law it's got to stop, it was a mistake. Run the risk that she'll flip and spill the beans, completing the "alienated pariah" scenario again.
Divorce the wife and get with the sister. Again with the alienation, might be the right call, might not be the right call. Who can tell until the deed is done?
Keep it quiet, slowly distance yourself from the sister. Find reasons to be away or busy when she's in town, or when you're in that area on business. Try to set her up with a friend of yours or something. Pray word of this never leaks out.
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