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Originally Posted by Plan9
But that's the point of emo. Miserable talk and no action. Reflection on how horrible it is to be alive instead of getting off the couch.
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You must have forgotten how to read. I've started to make improvements. It's almost like you want me to fail so you can make fun of me. But I'll overcome my fears even if it takes me awhile, and prove you wrong.
Quote:
Originally Posted by LoganSnake
You complain about looking like a boy? Get the fuck out of here. I still get carded at the R-rated movies by people 7 years my junior, even with my stubble/hair combo. I was told I look 15 just two months ago at school.
The plus side? I'll be able to get younger chicks when I'm in my 30s looking like a 25 year old. Oh yeah. Besides, I know I look good. That's the difference.
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I've seen pictures of you, you don't look that young. I'd bone.
Quote:
Originally Posted by snowy
One of the other ideas I see floating around in your posts is a focus on the "social clock": "I'm x years of age, so I should be doing y." Here's the truth: while it is easier to make major life transitions at the time dictated by a social clock because your peers are going through the same transitions, you can still make these transitions at other times. The cultural diversity of modern American society means the social clock is becoming less relevant in some ways. I wrestle with this too; a lot of my peers are married and having babies. Does this mean I want to run out and have a baby? No, not particularly; the timing isn't right for me. I have figured out that my personal needs come before the social clock.
Stop worrying about what you should be doing at your age, and just live.
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You make a good point. All my friends or acquaintances from High School are either married or are engaged to get married, so I do kind of feel out of the loop. If I had to choose a time period that I got off the social clock, it'd be my high school years, for sure. I guess I can't really re-live my high school years, haha, but I know I gotta make the effort to be more social as if I were in high school again, or something.
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Originally Posted by Baraka_Guru
Mirth: Listen to snowy.
I'm on the same boat. At my age, most people I know have mortgages, marriages, families, and even a few assets. I have none of those things (though I am in a common-law relationship). I have debt and no savings, no real assets, and I have only 32 years left until I hit that socially prescribed retirement age. Yeeeah.... at this rate, it ain't gonna happen.
So what am I going to do about it? Well, for starters, I'm in the process of rewriting my scripts. You know, those things that people wrote for you and you've been living by all this time, or maybe you've been deviating from them subconsciously and have been miserable because, well, you feel like a deviant and things aren't "going according to plan"—even though you have no plan.
Toss out what you think others expect of you and go after what matters to you most. If you don't know what that is, you have a lot of work to do. Have at it.
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Hmmm... I would have never guessed that you'd be out of the social clock, you've always come off as what seems to be one of the most wise and helpful members on the board. But it's neat that you too have problems. Not saying that in a mean way, hehe. But yeah... I have to start doing my own things, for myself. Which I am slowly working at.
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Anyways, if anyone cares, I have an update on my progress. A somewhat former acquaintance of mine invited me to their show tonight at a bar via a facebook event invite. My parents are friends with his parents, and that's how we know each other. Most of his family and relatives went to see him play tonight. Anyways, I decided to go, to get more comfortable around other people. I didn't really talk to anyone the whole night, was more of just a practice of being around people.
Well at the end, the acquaintance's father invited me to join their table, with his family. Which was great, because one of the girls (I think his niece) really caught my eye... Like, I know I'm not supposed to pre-judge people based on looks (bad habit I'm working on), but she seemed out of place, like she doesn't normally go to bars and stuff. Looked innocent. Throughout the night of the family talking, I learned that she doesn't drink, is a Christian, and doesn't go to bars other than when her cousin's band is playing. Kinda like me!
But anyways, they all invited me to go to IHOP with them, which would have gotten me more time to try to get to know that girl. I know, I know, I'm supposed to be working on my socializing skills and not girls, but I can't help myself. Unfortunately, they split us into two tables, and I didn't get to be in hers. I had to sit next to this other girl, 19, who was definitely not my type! But I got to sit with my acquaintance and the drummer, and we actually had a lot of laughs, they felt like real friends. I was really enjoying myself, and I really felt like I was just like everybody else. I talked to them like I would with my other friends, showing that I'm comfortable.
At the end of the night, they said they'd invite me to their next show when they have one. The drummer mentioned that he goes to the same college as me on Wednesdays at night like I do, so I said maybe I'll see him around and we can chill till our classes start. I felt really confident at IHOP after the first couple minutes. I even talked to the girl next to me every once and awhile, as if she was just another person at the table and not some attractive female. I gave her a mozzarella stick and she offered me some of her steak, but it looked gross, haha, so I declined politely. Also, the dad was hitting on two chicks younger than me like it was nothing... And he's 51... That man has some balls, and did it so smoothly. Gave me inspiration! He said I could have easily gotten one of those bar girls (Yes, he's prejudice too I guess, he thinks "bar-girls" are easy). I suppose he noticed that I didn't talk to anyone, although I'm pretty sure he already knows I'm shy.
When I got home, I checked the facebook event. That girl that I seem to be interested in is only 19. Ah well...
Anyways, I feel really good tonight. Feel like I made some progress! And I plan to make more.