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Ok there isn't really a scenario here where you will "learn to love" her.
1. Your relationship is based on a lie, you misrepresented yourself.
2. Your relationship is being compared to your ex every step of the way. get over her first.
3. You guys don't even have enough in common to be friends if you ask me.
4. The longer you drag this out, the more drama you'll get from it.
I think you need to man up, call her up and tell her it's not working out for you.
You only live once, make the most of your time seeking someone who's right for you, improve your confidence however necessary, be it a gym or becoming an mtv guido, who cares? learn to masturbate more I guess. Stop ignoring your friends.
I only say stop ignoring your friends because I think if you're this prone to emotionally latch on to the only girl in your life showing you any kind of attention from miles and miles away and you're shelling out the cash for it (you'd probably get more satisfaction from a lapdance for the money, same end result) It just makes me think that you haven't been bonding with your friends enough and you're seeking your emotional ties in this trainwreck of a situation you've created for yourself.
bah, you know what to do.
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