When will we learn that lying to ourselves about what we want, and lying to others about who we are doesn't build good relationships?
You don't have to want a good one, just admit it.
Or if you really do, you might need to think about why you feel you have to lie to get one, and work on that instead. You'll be much happier, and the other thing will work itself out by proxy. 
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"The question isn't who is going to let me, it's who is going to stop me." (Ayn Rand)
"The truth is that our finest moments are most likely to occur when we are feeling deeply uncomfortable, unhappy, or unfulfilled. For it is only in such moments, propelled by our discomfort, that we are likely to step out of our ruts and start searching for different ways or truer answers." (M. Scott Peck)
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